My First Semester of College Sucked and It's OK

I promise I'm not usually as negative as the title makes me out to be, but I do have a reputation of being very blunt. So, yeah. #sorrynotsorry that I'm salty but everyone keeps asking how college is going.

Here's all the things I learned this semester!

1. Appreciate your (true) friends

All my closest friends moved away to university in August. I'm a very social person and somehow didn't foresee how this would affect me until the week they all left at once. At the same time, a few of my friends who were still in high school had a bunch of drama and I honestly felt super alone. It was very new and strange that I couldn't drive 10 minutes down the road to my best friend whenever I wanted.

I learned that the friends who truly care for me will make time for me like I make time for them. They will ask how I'm doing. They will make sure we see each other when they're in town. They won't cut me out of their lives just because they're 3 hours away now. And the distance makes our relationships much more meaningful.

2. Don't overload yourself !!!!!

Learn from my mistakes: find your limit and stick to it.

My first week of class, I was housesitting for a family friend. I also started a new job, in addition to nannying once a week and my first part-time job. So my first week of college I wasn't living at home, I was working three jobs, and all my friends moved out of town.

I'm not complaining because I earned a lot of money but I honestly marvel at how stupid I was to think I could handle that. All that change all at once plus a schedule that busy was seriously overwhelming. I took me more than a month to realize I needed to stop working 40-hour weeks so I could focus on my grades, my dwindling social life, and myself.

3. It's YOUR college experience, speak up for yourself

I've had a lot of bad experiences with the school I'm at right now. I'll probably write another blog post just about this because I feel like I get asked about it a lot but here's a quick run down:

-I unfortunately got the most terrible, mean, unhelpful teacher

-When I began making formal complaints about said teacher, my feelings and issues were basically dismissed because I "wasn't rightfully prepared for college" (if you know me, you know I was very, very ready for college)

-Bad tutor in the school's tutoring center

-SEVERAL miscommunication issues with every academic advisor I've gone to -A month's worth of canceled/rescheduled appointments with the mental health department

me every time someone asks how I like my college

All of these problems left me disappointed and confused because a college is supposed to care about the success of their students and even though I was working my butt off and using their resources, I was still at square one. And because of all these problems, I'm 7 credits behind what I planned to be at the end of this semester. Now I have to take summer classes to graduate on time, which prohibits me from applying as a camp counselor like I wanted to.

So yeah I'm definitely raising Hell here in St. Charles with all my "formal complaints" but someone needs to know how it is and I've finally realized that I shouldn't be so apologetic when I know A) I'm not being dramatic, B) I'm not the only one who's having issues, and C) I deserve a good college experience.

4. Don't be "too cool" to visit your high school teachers

I promise they will appreciate knowing you thought about them. Thank them for all they did for you. Remember all the work they put forth. Thank them for preparing you and for shaping you into who you are today.

5. Get *involved* on campus

Don't be a loser. I joined Phi Beta Lampda (Future Business Leaders of America) and met some really great people. I also took the advice of another college friend and talked to people in my classes on our first day. She pointed out that it's ok if you embarrass yourself because you won't see your classmates again after the semester is over. Now I have friends to eat lunch with and study with. It's also important to have people's' numbers in your classes so you can catch up on what you miss or double check something you're confused about.

6. Learn when it's okay to skip class

A lot of teachers don't even take attendance in college. Some even post videos of their lectures online. If you're sick, don't push it. You are going to need a break and it's okay to have a day for rest.

6. Do what you love, no matter what you planned

I am learning more and more everyday that I have a serious passion for English- reading and writing. This has made me consider switching my major and looking more into different career paths. I'm really thankful for the writing class I'm in because it's helped me realize that there's no real reason not to do what you love as much as you can. God gave me that talent and I should use it, whatever His will may be.

7. Don't have expectations

I collectively learned this from what my friends out of town have said too. College can be great but the greatness doesn't always happen as quickly as we expected. Give yourself time for adjustment. Spend time with your family because they're much more permanent than you realize. Don't waste breath on friends from high school who you never really liked or only talked to because you had class with them- focus on your real, meaningful friendships. You won't always talk to everyone you graduated with and that's okay.

8. Be nice to everyone

Too often we get caught up in how we want others to perceive us and we forget we have the potential to make someone's day just by smiling and asking how they are. Your co-workers, the girl that sits next to you in class, the customers at work, your teacher, someone in line next to you: Why not reach out to them?

Every time I do this, my day gets a little brighter too. I've learned to be happy and excited for the things going on in my friends' lives and I let them know that I'm proud of them or I'm hurting for them. Empathy is key.

I think college often forces us to zero-in on ourselves and getting our work done and getting through our week, so we find ourselves completely drained and out-of-touch. Remember to connect with someone else; the world will only be as good as you're willing to make it.

*I should also add "Don't Procrastinate" but I haven't learned that yet (oops)

I hope you got something out of this and I'm lowkey considering printing this out for all the relatives who'll be asking during the holidays. It's sometimes hard to tell the truth-then I get weird, unnecessary sympathy from people because for some reason, we have this stigma that struggles and pain are "bad." Like, no, it's okay, this is okay- this is how we grow.

Basically, we all go through dry spells in our lives and this is just one of them for me. I know it'll be better eventually and truthfully, not every day has been terrible. These 4 months have made me a lot stronger but I'm definitely ready to move on. Like, I'm tempted to become a hermit and live in the woods instead of come back next semester, I'm so ready to move on. But my parents and my boyfriend would say that's not an option.

As my favorite fish would say, I have to just keep swimming.

~Beth